Like is an Understatement
by Jackie Potansas
Summary: What happens when Roger's kindness fuels Mimi's old obsession? Chaos. One Shot. Post Rent. MimiRogerMimiMarkfriendship


It was a peculiar day, that Thursday. It started with Roger getting up early to get us breakfast. Just that sentence was enough to make the day weird. Mimi was just as surprised as I was to see Roger waltz in with a box filled with doughnuts. A dozen, Roger announced gleefully, as Mimi squealed and kissed him. I guess she loves doughnuts?

"Roger, this is…great! Now we have breakfast for a couple days!" I let him know, and chose a chocolate-y looking one. Mimi grabbed a disgusting pink frosting-rainbow sprinkles-type, and chomped giddily. I had half a mind to go out and get her a My Little Pony, or a Barbie, or something to go with her obvious display of youth.

"Isn't it?" Roger rang out proudly, taking a bear claw for himself. In case you missed the musical, or the movie, or all those other fan fictions written about our life, Roger doesn't usually do this stuff. Sure he's a sensitive guy sometimes (he is, after all, a musician), but this was monumental for someone like my pal Roger. Just getting doughnuts for his girlfriend and his roommate/friend was cause for celebration.

"Well, I'm done." Mimi announced as she licked the frosting from her fingers. I looked down at my doughnut. Barely half-eaten. She inhaled that thing!

"Geez babe, trying to set a world record?" Roger inquired, having taken two bites of his. Mimi shrugged.

"I like doughnuts. Now, don't you have a band practice, Rog? And Mark don't you have…something?" I sensed she was trying to get rid of us. I shouldn't have, but I went along with it.

"Yeah, filming. Right. I guess I should get going." I grabbed my already packed camera bag and a napkin for the rest of my doughnut.

"You're right Meems, I gotta go." Roger took his fender and his bear claw and headed out the door. I followed him, and didn't look back. I wish I had, because then I would've seen the devious plan about to unfold.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Mimi? Roger? I'm home!" It was just after 7, and I was supposed to meet Joanne and Maureen at Life for dinner in an hour. I don't think I ever made it there that night. "Hey, I'm going to Life soon, do you guys want to come?" I heard commotion from Roger and Mimi's bedroom. I wasn't, and frankly will never be daring enough to peek in there when there's commotion. You can just never know. Mimi ran out into the main room with a guilty expression and crumbs all over herself.

"Mark! Hi!" I, of course, was now extremely curious.

"Mimi…" And then it hit me! I must check the counter…sure enough, the box of doughnuts was missing. "Where are the doughnuts?" She looked stunned.

"I-I…I have no idea!" Uh huh. That was convincing. Its times like these I wish I had one of those detective moustaches.

"So you don't mind if I look in your bedroom for them?" She shook her head.

"Of course not!" She still sounded doubtful, and it was obvious she had the doughnuts, so I had to search the room. I didn't have to search very hard, because the box was sitting on the bed, in plain sight. I picked it up and looked inside. Empty.

"Mimi, what is this?" I shook the empty box at her. She seemed to struggle with words for a second, and then fell to floor in tears.

"I'm sorry, I just love doughnuts so much! I used to be addicted, but the owner of the Catscratch forbid me to eat them anymore! I'd been doughnut free for two years! Then Roger had to bring them…oh, you won't tell Roger will you?" I was of course, stunned. Who gets addicted to doughnuts? Did she really eat ten?

"Wow. I won't tell Roger, don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." Unfortunately, Mimi wasn't safe. Roger decided to make it a habit to come home Thursday mornings with doughnuts. She was good about them in the beginning, she wouldn't eat them, and just have coffee, but Roger insisted, and always got that pink frosted one for her.

"C'mon babe, eat it!" She couldn't tell him why she wouldn't, so she always did, and I couldn't make him stop without betraying her, so I'd frequently come home Thursday nights to find all the doughnuts gone. I don't know how Roger didn't notice, but he was always oblivious to the missing doughnuts. He was also oblivious to the extra pounds Mimi was packing on, or so I thought.

"Does Mimi look, erm, heavier to you?" He asked me one night, when he took me to watch her dance. I had to say no.

"Of course not! You must be seeing things." Roger shrugged.

"I guess you're right."

0o0o0o0o0

Poor Mimi. She told Joanne who told Maureen who told me that she was fired from Catscratch for gaining twenty pounds. I had to put an end to this. Mimi told me if I ever told Roger about her little…doughnut problem, she'd kill me. Girls are so strange that way. But there had to be a different way to help her. And so there was. That Thursday Roger brought home the doughnuts, and when no one was looking, I dumped them all out the window. Some homeless people cheered and ate them.

"Hey! What happened to the doughnuts?" Roger asked, confused. I shrugged.

"Roger, don't get doughnuts anymore. I really hate them." Mimi jumped up with a "woo hoo!" and decided to go for a jog.

The End

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: Well this story certainly set a record for me: my first flame. Yes, I have NEVER gotten a flame before this story, and well, I don't ever want them again! I must be more specific. I just want you all to know, this story isn't meant to be amazingly funny. I was bored, and we had doughnuts lying around, and I felt like writing. You can hate it, but please, if you hate it, keep that to yourself!


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